January 11, 2019
Yep I said it..it is now out there for the world to see. I hate vomit..okay maybe not terrified but it has definitely been something that causes me anxiety. This morning my son woke me up with these exact words, ” mom I don’t feel well, my tummy hurts. I think I need to stay home today from preschool.” It may not sound like much to you but with the tummy stuff…I do not do well. Seriously. I have to admit it was pretty cute how adult he was being about the whole thing. But I couldn’t decide whether he just saying that because he wanted to stay and play (he looovvess watching tv and playing his Nintendo switch) or if he was really sick and going to puke. I guess that is why we call it mom life. This mom thing is no joke yal. It doesn’t matter who is around to help out guys and girls, when the kid is sick he only. wants. me.
In the 4th grade I actually skipped a lot of school because I was afraid I was going to vomit in public and get made fun of. No joke, I really was terrified. My mom was worried I was being bullied but I simply was afraid ….very afraid. For months I didn’t want to go anywhere with the family because I was afraid to be sick.. like sick puking everywhere. This may sound silly to some of you but I looked it up, it is a legit fear out there that some really have to deal with. Thankfully, I got through it at a young age and pushed myself out of it. Until…I had kids. Wa wah. It sort of came back.
UPDATE: I found this on the internet- according to wikipedia Emetophobia is a phobia that causes overwhelming, intense anxiety pertaining to vomiting. This specific phobia can also include subcategories of what causes the anxiety, including a fear of vomiting in public, a fear of seeing vomit, a fear of watching the action of vomiting or fear of being nauseated. BOOM told you!
Besides my husband leaving me for another younger, more beautiful woman, I will say that the above has been one of my biggest fears I have had to struggle with. I even sing on stage, shaking and all but these two are still top of my list anxieties. I know I am not alone in these battles because I have either read about or talked to others that deal with the same anxieties. Someone even said once that they couldn’t leave the house without stressing out so they stayed home with their five kids all day…everyday.
Fear is a prison. We don’t have to stay there. Someone really wise once said why fight the battle twice with fear? If what your fearing actually happens to you then you will have to deal with it then, so why deal with it twice? I know there are healthy fears out there don’t get me wrong. But I am talking about the ugly fears. The ones that hold you hostage and make you feel like your drowning. The best thing for me and I believe for others to do is to talk about it. The more you share about it the less power that thing has over you!! Shine light on that darkness and watch your anxieties and fears start to slowly but surely go away. By the way my sons teacher just sent me a picture of him smiling and playing with numbers on the floor. Whew!! Praise GOD!
Let’s accept the challenge this year to be vulnerable together in 2019! What is your greatest fear?? Does it paralyze or imprison you?? What are you going to do today to no longer have power over you? Please share and I would be happy to listen because I know how much that helps!
P.S. I needed some updated headshots so I phoned a friend :). A big HUGE shout out to Kaitlin Roten Photography for making me and my kiddos look awesome in these photos! ENJOY!
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